Anxiety and Panic Attacks

This is a bit of an unusual post as it’s not in keeping with the general theme of my blog, but as it’s something I have experience with and have struggled with for absolutely ages, I thought it would be a good idea to share the things I’ve found that help me cope with panic attacks and general anxiety. I’ll discuss what I feel are the triggers for me and then talk a bit about what I’ve found has helped me. There’s no ‘one cure fits all’ as everybody reacts differently, but if you’re someone who struggles with attacks then hopefully this blog may be of use.

I’ve suffered from panic attacks for around 10 years, since the age of 17. They came on really quickly and I was having between 15-20 a day which was both terrifying and traumatic. I don’t think people who’ve never experienced them can understand just how scary they are; you basically feel like you’re dying and have absolutely no control over the situation. It’s a purely mental experience that can sometimes be provoked by physical things such as if you swallow awkwardly (your mind suddenly decides your throat is closing, then starts a panic attack) or if you struggle to take a deep breath (your mind tells you you’re not breathing properly therefore there must be something really wrong, then starts a panic attack) and equally irrational thoughts occur resulting in a surge of adrenaline as you start to believe that you’re no longer in a healthy state. I have believed I was dying hundreds if not thousands of times, purely and simply because anxiety took over, rational thinking disappeared and I’ve ended up in hospital on many occasions genuinely believing that I was dying.
For me, the biggest trigger is stress. If I’m going through a stressful time when I need to be in control (for example, both my parents have had cancer and as an only child I’ve been the one who needed to be the carer for them; so I had to be in control at all times to make sure they had a calming influence) I ended up forcing myself into a more severe state of control, resulting in my body finds other ways of losing control; which results in a panic attack. I believe that it is so important to understand your triggers, not because it will cure you but because at the very least it’ll allow room for a bit of rational thinking. It’s been a long time since I’ve had such a severe panic attack that I’ve needed to go to hospital and I believe this is because I’ve developed a greater understanding of the mental state I’m in during the attacks.
Another trigger is tiredness. Again it’s a similar process to stress, meaning that I’m forcing my body and mind to work harder than it needs to when I’m performing everyday tasks with sleep deprivation.
A slightly more obvious trigger for me is illness. If I feel unwell as it is, any ailments are going to be blown out of proportion in my head and can (and often do) result in attacks.
I’ve mentioned my personal triggers to give you an idea of what I think can cause anxiety. I’m aware they’re pretty obvious, but if you suffer from attacks then I suggest thinking about it carefully and working out if there’s any pattern behind what starts them off.
Here are a few things that I have found work for me. I’ll start with a slightly radical (and probably controversial) approach that isn’t ideal, but works for me because I’m getting behind the initial cause of the attack. When I was at the stage in my life when I was having attack after attack on a daily basis, I hit the point one evening when another attack started and I thought to myself “So what? If I do die then it’s got to be better than this living hell” and of course the attack stopped. It stopped because the attack was purely a psychological fear of dying and if I accepted the idea of dying then there was no reason for it to continue. Horrible? Yes. Effective? Absolutely. I’m in no way suggesting that we should all just accept the idea of dying, especially as – and this is the killer and why panic attacks are so hard to control – it’s so difficult to tell the difference between a panic attack and a genuine health concern, after all, adrenaline is our body’s way of alerting us to danger. If you study your attacks and consider the process of how it goes (do you feel a weird sensation, then become aware of your swallowing and breathing, then start to feel ill with the adrenaline?) then you should be able to pinpoint the difference between a genuine problem and an anxiety attack.
More recently, my panic attacks have taken a completely different direction and just kick of for no real reason. I know they’re happening so they’re not half as bad as the really nasty ones that make me feel like throwing up, but they’re still there and I wanted to be proactive and do something about them, so I started Transcendental Meditation. Yes, it’s a little bit ‘peace and love’ but it’s worked wonderfully. You’re supposed to do it for 20 minutes twice a day every day, but my choice is to get up 20 minutes earlier every day or, erm, not, so I don’t. I just use this technique whenever I feel an attack coming on (or if it’s caught me off guard then during an attack) and it nips it in the bud quicker than anything else because it forces your mind away from the attack and I can feel better in minutes using TM. I was pretty desperate by the time I started TM and I had Googled and researched and found lots of useful information but keeping them under control, but very little had helped me completely stop them in their tracks. This really did and I’m so pleased I did the course.
I really hope this blog is of use to anyone who suffers attacks as they are so terrifying and difficult to live with. If you’re reading this and want to ask me any questions then please either message me or leave a comment as I’d be more than happy to help in any way I can.
Comment

7 Comments

  • glitterbaby40
    September 28, 2011

    I am currently seeing a psychologist for anxiety for a phobia I have and CBT is not working for me. I have never heard of Transcendental Meditation but will certainly look into it because I am at the end of my tether with it. I can fully relate to everything you wrote and am really glad that this therapy is working for you. Thank you for sharing an excellent blog xx

  • BeautyGeekUK
    September 28, 2011

    Thanks so much for your comment and follow 🙂 Sorry to hear you’re having such a hard time, like I said above, it’s the sort of thing that unless you’ve experienced it yourself it’s impossible to understand! Have you had meds suggested to you yet? My mum suffered the same thing but wanted a quick fix so she’s been on Propranolol for a year and it’s worked really well for her, but I’m always slightly scared of medication (ironically I think it’s part of my anxiety!) so I’m sooo relieved I started TM, even if it is a bit hippyish 🙂 really hope you get yours sorted soon, feel free to mail me at geek@beautygeekuk.com if you want to chat xx

  • Catherine Gregory
    October 8, 2011

    Thank you for sharing this with us. I too suffer from anxiety and panic attacks and have been for many years. I am 31 now and currently on the waiting list for CBT and am on anti anxiety medication. Anxiety and panic are so scary and so hard to get under control. I know I feel worse when tired or hormonal but they can come out of nowhere. Like today, shopping in town and wham I started to panic and was worried I was going to pass out or be sick in the middle of m&s. I just had to leave and get fresh air. I hope to get this under control as it rules my life. I hope you manage to as well glitterbaby40 and BeautyGeekUK. A horrible thing to happen and very scary

  • BeautyGeekUK
    October 9, 2011

    Hi Catherine, thanks for sharing with us and I totally empathise; it is absolutely terrifying and I know what you mean about them coming out of nowhere. Whilst I’m relieved to say that I generally don’t get them anymore, I was caught completely off guard by one a while ago that hit me in the middle of watching a film and it was so freakishly sudden and I wasn’t prepared for it at all. The upside is that I’m soooo familiar with them now that I know exactly what they are as soon as they hit. However, if one hits so suddenly then regardless of whether I can calm myself or not, I’m still left with the residual elements like the nausea and adrenaline which take a while to get rid of which is absolutely horrid. I really hope you find CBT works for you and obviously please feel free to get in touch if you want to talk about anything xx

  • paula
    October 16, 2011

    I suffer with anxiety and panic attacks.I had my first one when I was 21 I was a dental nurse just working normal day nothing different then wham.I thought I was dying heart beating really fast shaking breathlessness,it was awful.I got sent home form work and went to Drs,it was a relief knowing what it was and it wouldn’t kill me.
    Im 42 in march and still have panic attacks and bad anxiety,im on Citalopram tablets and they seem to have helped.Sometimes my mind runs away with me and I end up having a panic attack. I’ve never been offered any other treatment,Id grab it with both hands if you are offered as I dont like taking tablets either xxx

  • BeautyGeekUK
    October 20, 2011

    Thanks for your comment, Paula. I was offered Citalopram as well as various other drugs but I just really don’t like the idea of taking meds as I don’t see how it can improve things; it feels pressing a pause button rather than the stop button, meaning that eventually you have to press play and everything carries on. I don’t think anyone can ever be cured, it’s just one of those things that you learn to control but good to know that there are a lot of us! xxx

  • New Year's Resolutions 2015 - Beauty Geek UK | Beauty Geek UK
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    […] a practice I would recommend to anyone suffering from similar issues as it truly is fantastic; read my post on it here – but to be honest I haven’t used it on a daily basis for years as I haven’t […]

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